Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
no, he came in my armpit
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
