Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize