okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
