no, he came in my armpit
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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