I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
