and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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