Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
