Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
So squirting runs in the family.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
