but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
the liver wants what the liver wants
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
