bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize