All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
