Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
