she woke up with a sticky ear
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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