I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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