i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
