I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
As shirtless as possible
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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