She is in my trunk
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
