Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
