i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
