Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
