oh god the rape fog is back!
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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