this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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