talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize