How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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