If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
