the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
