If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
