You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I wish there were birth control emojis
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
