you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize