the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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