I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
time to smoke my breakfast
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Randomize
