i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
