Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
