im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
