1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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