I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
