I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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