Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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