I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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