if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
