i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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