We should be called the Road Head Warriors
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I have tasted many bathrooms
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
