DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
