Do you still have your period?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
