Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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