you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
