Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize