I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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