I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
