put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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