When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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