East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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