oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
