Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Panties = found
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize