whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
this is an emotional support booty call
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
