i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize