I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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