Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
