so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
