He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
