did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
