Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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