My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
