he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
