My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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