i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
