shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
