i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
