Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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