why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
