so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
